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Sunfest 2013 Video
Hope From Harrison came together again for another great cause at SunFest 2013 to help Josiah and his family. Once again our volunteers made the world a better place.
Valentine’s Day Gift Bags
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A video to highlight the compassion and love our volunteers show when creating Valentine’s Day Gift Bags for the families of Joe DiMaggio Children’s Hospital in Hollywood, Florida.
Doing what we can to make their Valentines Day a little better and let them know they are loved.
It’s Been A Year
Well I have decided that it is time to focus some of my thoughts and energy back to the beautiful world of Hope From Harrison. It is easy to understand why I have silently ignored my mission here for the better part of the last year since I last wrote here. It is easy to fall into the thought pattern that there is to much pain here and I will just put off "the work" until we are "stable"…………
While these words may seem logical as I am justifying them in my head or to anyone who loves us and just wants our pain to go away, as I sit down to write these words and reconnect with the BEAUTIFUL world that Harrison exposed me to I know that there is no place I would rather be. There is nothing I would rather do more than give of myself to help others in the name of Harrison and equally important help others to feel the love that Harrison created.
It is almost like coming home after being away on a long trip or moving away for a job and then coming back. As I sit here and write these words I feel a connection of love and healing energy that I can only access by my reference to my time with Harrison. It is a pure feeling that for me equates to the meaning of life, and it is still as alive and well today as it was while I was experiencing it when Harrison was here with us.
Actually these feelings of love and inspiration are even more clear now as I am able to experience them without the clouded emotional chaos that was hanging over us like a winter fog off the coast of Galveston that just didn't want to leave. While the feelings may not be as intense they are more nourishing and clear. I am able to appreciate them with a peace that I have not felt in a while.
I am sure there was a good reason I have not written here for over a year now, but I can't think of one at this time. For the past year I have engrossed myself with work and continuing my struggle. Our world was shaken dramatically and powerfully that we lost all sense of what who we were in many ways. I look at Melissa and I look at myself sometimes and it is very clear that we are not the same people we used to be.
We are still crying for help, but we know it is up to us to "handle" it now. Time has passed, new babies have been born, more babies have died, this universe keeps expanding, and we are trying to figure out if we are expanding or contracting at any given moment. It's like the progress of life is pulling us forward but we are still crying for Harrison and the stability and confidence we had before he was born.
The pain is not nearly as prevalent today as it was a year ago, but for me it is more real. It's like the armor I put on to protect my psyche and emotional state when he passed is finally wearing off and I can feel again. I am beginning to feel both the beauty and the pain that is the story of Harrison. For the past year and a half I have worked very hard at focusing on the beauty that is Harrison so that I would not have to experience the intensity of the pain that is Harrison, but now as the days add up I am for the first time able to breathe and grieve in new ways.
One of the reasons I was inspired to write here tonight is because I am finding peace for the first time in a few years and I am really excited about where I am now in my life. I am excited, for the first time in my life, to be the conscious creator of my life experience. This new perspective that I am living has allowed me to reach back and connect with my beautiful son Harrison and celebrate all that he continues to be.
I can no longer ignore the powerful lessons that he taught me. I can no longer pretend that I have other things to do. While life will continue to have it's demands and I do not anticipate committing 100% of my time to the foundation at this time I am declaring that I am ready to step up and bring life back to The Hope From Harrison Foundation.
I am ready to share with the world all that I learned from my journey with Harrison, Melissa, Maxwell and our circle of healing that literally circles this physical earth and beyond. I am ready to help other families in any way I can by sharing our story, being here to listen to theirs and offer assistance in any way I can.
In closing tonight I must stay thank you to my beautiful wife for allowing me to process this the way I needed to and standing by me as only you could. I love you babe and I promise you that beautiful days are here again, and there is plenty of life to be lived in ways we may not even be able to imagine at this time.
I would also like to say thank you to you for reading these words right now. Thank you for caring enough to stand by our family and fill us with love. Whether you are family member, a friend or a complete stranger searching for answers for your child. All of you are a part of our Hope From Harrison journey and I love you.
Namaste
Harrison I Miss You Buddy
Harrison,
Well buddy exactly one year ago tonight your mother and I spent our last night with you. You had been quiet and calm for the entire weekend and while we were suspicious, as we had quickly learned to live our life, we were also tired and unclear of exactly what we should do.
You weren’t uncomfortable you just seemed to sleep for 20 hours a day which was a little strange. So we put you in our room on Monday night April 3rd, 2011 and positioned you in the middle of our bed while your mom and I watched an ESPN Films Documentary called “The Fav Five” about Chris Weber and the team at Michigan who made a run to the Final Four as freshman. You will also be interested to know that they are responsible for introducing baggy shorts into basketball in the mid 90’s………..
Anyways it was a peaceful night in the bed rubbing you, loving you and more importantly just being with you. I can’t help but look back sometimes and wonder if you were really okay or not. Of course the obvious questions come up of should we have done more or made a different decision that night, but to be honest with you I don’t spend to much time on that because I know we did the best with what we knew and the information we had.
So here we are one year later and honestly I feel like I am starting to emerge from the fog and see and feel things that I have been numb to for this past year.
I miss you, I really do!
Over the past month or so I have been noticing that I have been allowing myself to really connect with you in ways that were to painful for me to access up until now. This year has been a blur of heartache, pain, confusion, survival, love and a little joy because that’s what we do. But all in all I really don’t know if I participated much in the way of life outside my responsibilities to your mom and brother.
I dove head first into “re-inventing myself’ with my internet marketing company. I kind of knew this was going to be my way out of really having to feel anything this year. Just stay focused on the business at all times and I will be to busy to really feel the pain. Feel the pain that your precious mother has been tortured with.
Unfortunately, I wasn’t the best listener this year because when I did listen to the pain of others it only made me angry, another feeling that I did not care to experience. So I worked, and I worked and I worked.
In all honesty I really was learning a lot and growing in that arena but in the end it was simply a cover that allowed me to check out. I always felt like as soon as I broke through the financial front and got us back on our financial feet I would take the time to connect and grieve. I always knew this wasn’t the healthiest approach but like many other times in my life I just didn’t really care.
So as I am reflecting on all this tonight I also realize that lately I have been feeling that my experience with you, your passing and this year of fog that I have become much less serious about life, this world, manufactured importance and many other things that used to drive me. Having been your father and shared space with you for those six months I am left with a spiritual feeling that this world and our definition of it is just not so damn important.
It’s like the true beauty of this world, our life and everything we know is staring us in the face and we are so busy feeling so important and getting in our own way that we can’t even see what we have. We have in our possession everything we are seeking, but we don’t even know it.
Sharing space with you showed me the purest form of life, love and joy that I have ever experienced. And while this year I have refused, for the most part, to feel the pain of your loss I have definitely spent a lot of time being grateful for what you taught me.
From the moment in Galveston when I stopped looking at what you were missing and began looking at what was right with you things have never been the same. I love you as much as I can love anyone in my life and I am always proud to call you my son.
I choose to honor you by accepting you for exactly who you are. I would not change a thing b/c in my view you were born exactly who you were supposed to be and you did exactly what you were supposed to do. You had purpose and you radiated love.
So as the years continue to pass I hope I can carry on and begin to radiate the love and peace that you showed us all so eloquently. As you continue to bring Hope to the world. I am honored to be your vehicle.
I miss you and I love you,
Dad
Incredible Review in the Sun Sentinel City Link
Please read this AMAZING article written about last weeks benefit from the Sun Sentinel City Link in Ft. Lauderdale!! It's AMAZING!!!
http://www.sun-sentinel.com/citylink/music/sfl-here-comes-the-sun-20110920,0,1637329.story