It is interesting what can trigger an emotion of Harrison. \u00a0Here is what happened two nights ago:<\/p>\n

I was changing Harper’s diaper during the night and as I pulled her sweet legs out of her footed pajamas I had the clearest flashback to Maxwell at the same age and doing the same thing. \u00a0I could so perfectly picture his soft little legs as I pulled them out of his jammies to change his diaper. \u00a0He had the skinniest little legs and they were so bowed. \u00a0I pictured it as if I were holding them in my hands. \u00a0And then I looked at Harper’s precious legs; just as soft but perfectly straight and chunky.<\/p>\n

In that moment of precious memory and experience of my children Harrison flashed in my mind. \u00a0Had \u00a0I ever put him in a proper pair of pajamas? \u00a0Had his sweet legs ever been in footed pajamas and could I even picture with such precision his legs? \u00a0The answer to these questions that popped into my head was “NO.” \u00a0No he hadn’t ever worn a pair of pajamas and no I could picture his legs.<\/p>\n

I burst into tears and cried myself to sleep. \u00a0I am crying right now as I type this.<\/p>\n

It never goes away, it just doesn’t. \u00a0And as I so joyfully and lovingly experience my sweet Harper (and believe me, I am enjoying every delicious ounce of her!!!) each day I also face many memories of Harrison. \u00a0Some memories sweet and precious, some heartbreaking. \u00a0All lead me to tears for the little time we had with him and for all that was missed. \u00a0I love him just as much as my other two and I’m grateful for the snuggles and time we did have. \u00a0But heart never stops breaking for what we did not have.<\/p>\n

Some day I hope to find peace and happiness in what was rather than was not. \u00a0For now I continue on my journey and just “BE” with the triggers as they hit.<\/p>\n

With lots of love and gratitude for all that continue to be with me on my emotional journey,<\/p>\n

Melissa<\/p>\n

Mommy of 3: Maxwell, Harper and Angel Baby Harrison<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It is interesting what can trigger an emotion of Harrison. \u00a0Here is what happened two nights ago: I was changing Harper’s diaper during the night and as I pulled her sweet legs out of her footed pajamas I had the clearest flashback to Maxwell at the same age and doing the same thing. \u00a0I could […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_genesis_hide_title":false,"_genesis_hide_breadcrumbs":false,"_genesis_hide_singular_image":false,"_genesis_hide_footer_widgets":false,"_genesis_custom_body_class":"","_genesis_custom_post_class":"","_genesis_layout":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-1467","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","6":"category-uncategorized","7":"entry"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/hopefromharrison.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1467","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/hopefromharrison.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/hopefromharrison.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hopefromharrison.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/3"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hopefromharrison.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1467"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/hopefromharrison.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1467\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1840,"href":"https:\/\/hopefromharrison.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1467\/revisions\/1840"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/hopefromharrison.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1467"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hopefromharrison.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1467"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/hopefromharrison.org\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1467"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}